I got asked this question today.
How are you, spiritually?
I volunteer with a ministry at church headed up by a minister on staff who is a friend of mine. He was on staff at the seminary when I started twelve years ago. Shortly after Keith and I got married, and I moved away from Cincinnati, this man and his family moved as well. He was hired by our church.
Anyway, I have basically neglected my volunteer duties since November. I was increasingly angry at God, I don’t entirely agree with some decisions that have been made, and quite frankly, I am tired. I woke up this morning and knew I needed to call this minister, because there is a meeting tomorrow night that I cannot attend.
But at nap time today, I wanted to lay down. It’s been a long week (since last Wednesday) and I, as one is prone to be with a child with a sleep disorder, am exhausted. I didn’t want to call him because I feel guilty that I have been slacking AND because he is one of the most compassionate and kind men I know, and he would be frustrated by my guilt.
As life would have it, he called me as soon as I laid down.
So we had a conversation about where I am in my life, about how my boys have been sick, my son has a sleep disorder, my father had surgery Monday and my mom has a biopsy tomorrow. We talked about how I am tired and trying to take good care of my family and how Saturdays and Sundays are really the only days I get to spend with my husband. We talked about my marriage and parenting. And then he asked me how I am spiritually.
Blessedly, I was able to say that I am better today than I was on January 1. I am no longer angry at God or frustrated by my seemingly unanswered prayers.
But spiritually I am drying up. I need to refill my well, because I cannot serve anyone effectively when I am dry and/or drying up.
Yet, one of the side effects of Little Man’s sleep disorder is a lack of time – effective quiet time – with Jesus. You see, I have no idea when he will wake up in the mornings. Inevitably, if I set my alarm for 6, he is crying at 5:30. If I set my alarm for 8, he is crying at 5:30. At night, it is a two-three hour process to get him down, and then he cries every few hours, or, inevitably, if I pick up my Bible or a study book.
(Satan is a jerk face)
I try to spend some time with Jesus at nap time, but usually I need some sleep so I don’t go insane on nights like tonight when Keith won’t be home before the bedtime struggle.
I pray. A lot. But I don’t always get to read or study or journal.
So I am drying up slowly. And I recognize it’s a season, but it’s a tough one.
How about you? How are you doing spiritually? And who do you have in your life to ask you?