About Us · adoption journey · blog etiquette · family

Privacy, Pediatricians and Pouring Out of Love

I loosened my privacy settings. My God is bigger than anything negative anyone can say to me, and my faith in Him is bigger than my fear of strangers who need Him. But I’m taking a DEEP BREATH with this, and comment moderation will be in full force.


So in the past two weeks I’ve interviewed two different pediatricians’ offices.

The first one: four female docs. An incredibly friendly phone receptionist. Free swag on “meet the doctor” night. A wonderful intro by 3 of the 4 docs (one was off that day). Women who have worked in that office for 7-14 years (and that’s just the doctors!). Multiple ethnicities represented both in patients and staff. Clean waiting room. Docs who answered ALL of my (in my mind) silly adoptive-mom questions. A nurse whose only job is to talk on the phone to parents who call in. Same day appointments. A doctor who takes the time to explain to me that while only having genetic information on our birth mother and not the birth father MAY present a challenge, it’s really okay. Wonderful exam room facilities. Not brand new – it’s a well established practice – but clean and well laid out. Everyone was SO friendly.

The second one: 4 docs. Or so I thought. Santa Claus walks in (to the exam room WITH NO SINK IN IT). He explains the two women doctors have left because, “You know how women are – they don’t like to be told what to do. Ha ha ha.” What? You do realize I AM A WOMAN? RIGHT? Then, I explain we are adopting. He says AND I QUOTE, “Why is she giving up the kid? Cause that’s important. She may not be telling you everything.” I was so stunned I didn’t even know how respond. And his answer to the 50% genetic info (and again I quote): “Well, she could get that info if she really wanted to.”

Guess which practice I’m choosing?

Thank God Keith was with me the 2nd time and MET Dr. Sexist Adoptionist Jerk. He couldn’t believe it, either, and had I come home alone and told him the story, he wouldn’t have believed me. And I was simply so stunned at both his sexist and adoptionist comments that I was rendered speechless. I have half a mind to write him an educational little note about his attitude.


Tonight was our fundraiser. It’s one thing to invite people via email and the good ole FB to come eat dinner. It’s entirely another when literally DOZENS of families from your family, your offices, and your church show up, line up OUT THE DOOR and spend extra for that milkshake or ice cream cone so you can rest a little easier about the financial aspects of adoption.

If I really think about it (which I still haven’t done – been home for about 30 minutes now) I will sob. Friends posted on their FB pages to come eat tonight. Our church worship ministry sent out an invite in their weekly newsletter. Friends drove from an hour away, passing one and possibly two of the same restaurants to eat where we were. Family drove from over an hour away (but not my dad & step-mom who live 20 minutes down the road…but THAT’S for another post!).

We spent four hours at a local fast food restaurant tonight, famous for giving back to the community, because of two things.

1) I listened to the still, small voice of God. And while I was praying about our financial situation in regards to adoption, He suggested this.

2) I screwed up every ounce of courage I have and asked for help.

Asking for help doesn’t come easily for me. It’s coming more easily now than it did nine months ago … or even six months ago.  But about 6 weeks ago I humbled myself and asked a new friend if he & his wife, owners of this restaurant, would host a fundraiser on our behalf. Hey – the worst he could say was NO, right?

But he said yes.

Had I not asked, I would have regretted it for the rest of my life.

Will we still have to take out a loan? Probably. But it will be a smaller loan. And it all pays for our legal fees, our birth mother’s legal fees, our homestudy and our birth mother’s counseling. It doesn’t go toward anything actually related to Baby: no toys, no diapers, no clothes, nothing. Only fees.

But tonight – I am overly grateful for my friends and family.

And I’m overly grateful to God, because He is where my help comes from.

5 thoughts on “Privacy, Pediatricians and Pouring Out of Love

  1. First and foremost, congratulations on your fundraiser tonight!! Looking back, I REALLY wish we would have done one…God is soo good!

    Second, what the heck is wrong with that 2nd doctor?!?! Some people have NO idea what they are talking about! I'm glad you found a practice you are comfortable with!!

    Third, good for you for going back to a public blog!!!


  2. You know that song, Praise you in this Storm by Casting Crowns? This post reminds me of that song. My favorite part is that chant from the psalm, “I lift my eyes unto the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of Heaven and Earth.” Keep on Praising! And Woo Hoo for that turnout tonight!


  3. I just found your blog, through Debbie's. I, like you, am STUNNED at that one doctor. Really?? Seriously??
    It reminds me of a woman I worked with who said this (and I quote) about our adoption: “You will be able to love her, right? I mean, I adopted my dog and I love her.”

    Yup. Comparing adopting my child to adopting a dog.

    We don't know anything about our daughter's birth father, it's not proved to be a problem or challenge so far.


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