It’s January 1, 2015.
I don’t think anyone except my mother still checks to see if I’m writing anymore. But one of my goals in 2015 is to write more. I have a loose outline for each week I’d like to follow; we’ll see if I can stick to it.
I finished my first semester as a college professor. And it was possibly my last. The school is plagued by financial insecurity and some less-than-ethical leadership – neither of which I do well with. I am slated to teach online this semester; I have until Wednesday to make a final decision about that.
I didn’t do well working outside the home. Granted, I was only “gone to work” on Mondays, but the stress affected the entire week. Frankly, it affected our entire lives. And as I was studying what the Bible says about women, I am now even more firmly convinced that if God blesses a woman with a husband and children, they are to be her priority (I hear feminists everywhere gasping for air). It’s hard to be nurturing and caring and there if I am concerned about lesson plans and lectures and grading.
So it’s 2015. I will be forty in August. In some ways my life looks like I thought it would; in others it certainly does not.
I have a list of goals – not resolutions, per se, but things I’d like to stop doing and things I’d like to do more of.
Hopefully writing here will be one of the things I do more of. But I will be shifting my focus: less adoption and infertility, more theology and parenting. More running and getting healthy, fewer stories about my kiddo (unless I have his permission to share).
I would love to hear who’s still out there, though. Throw me a comment?
danielthree18 
Hi Rachel! Most def here. I love your writing “sound” and also have a “Little Man” who God so graciously allowed into our lives! Would love to hear you more. 🙂
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I'm here! I like your ideas for the direction of the blog.
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I love to read your words!
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I'm still here too. 🙂
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Here!! And I do think our families should always be our second priority, after our relationship with God. But I think that looks different for everyone. Working part-time actually makes me a better mother. When I'm home with Ava every day, I get to a breaking point. By working just part-time, I get the best of both worlds for me. I get some “adult” time but my job has no strings attached. I leave it at work completely. And she gets interaction with other kiddos at a very loving place she enjoys for 2.5 days a week. Win-win! Every kid is different, every mom is different. But that's what works for us!
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Cari,
I think, though, that there is a balance. I'm talking about the fact that my “job” was suddenly all-consuming. There are extenuating circumstances, sure, that I'm not going to publicly broadcast, but it was taking up a huge chunk of my emotional and spiritual life. Not to mention those circumstances eradicated any and all joy I initially had at teaching 😦 Plus, I had to study all.the.time.
There is balance to be had, yes. And I think working part-time at a job you can “leave” provides that. But I see women who spend 50, 60, 70+ hours a week outside of their families, and then spend a huge amount of time on social media complaining that they can't do it all, or that their kids are treating them poorly, or that they're constantly at odds with their husbands. Then they claim “God” is telling them to work.
I think not. That's straight up contradictory to Scripture, I'm finding as I study more and more. And I'm stepping on all sorts of toes, I realize, when I say things like that. It's certainly not popular to tell anyone, let alone a woman, she can't have everything she wants.
It's certainly complicated, and something I am studying my way through, so I'm still not very articulate on it, yet. 🙂 But I certainly don't believe God ever “tells us” things today that would flat out contradict His Word. However, I'm pretty conservative in my theology that way 🙂
And my kid would not thrive somewhere else 2.5 days a week – he had huge separation issues, and even now, just going to his grandparents for an overnight a few times a month about drove him nuts. He likes to be home, as he says, “with his family.” I think that's one reason God chose us to be his parents. We can fulfill that need he has right now.
I'll be blogging more about this in the coming year…trust me!! 🙂
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I totally get what you're saying & I agree that people can't have it “all” – something inevitably gets sacrificed. And I think those who are working that much would admit that they don't have it “all”, which is why they're complaining! I just hate to paint anything with too broad a brush because, like I said & you illustrated, every kid is different. Every mom is different. And while I think scripture gives us lots of guides in how to live, it is culturally based in a society much different than ours and learning how to navigate the difference can be hard. Giving each other grace as we all try to figure out the finer points is something scripture definitely speaks to. I look forward to reading your blog, as always!
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