being a mommy · life is messy · mommy guilt · sleep

Dear Sleepless Mama

Dear Sleepless Mama,


Are not alone.

I know you feel so alone. Everywhere you turn you have friends and relatives telling you about their perfect children who slept through the night at 6 days, 6 weeks, 6 months. And here you (we) are at almost 36 months and your (our) kiddo still wakes multiple times during the night.

I want you to know that I understand.

I understand the bone deep weariness that comes with this game. I understand the on-edge nerves and emotions, because you are just so very tired right now. I understand that all you want is your child to sleep well because it is important for them, not because you think it’s important to you.

I understand how alone you feel. I understand how you are afraid to say again that your kiddo isn’t sleeping well…that you aren’t sleeping well…that no one can accurately explain why or fix it for you. I understand how you are inspired to violence or to ridiculous tears every time someone says, “this too shall pass” or “it’s a phase” or “have you tried this method”.

I understand that all you want is 8 or 10 hours in a row of uninterrupted sleep – just one night. I understand that you want to nap every day (and I deeply encourage you to do so; the housework or whatever else will keep. take a nap & regain some sanity!).

It’s a dirty little secret, isn’t it? No one wants to admit there is something “wrong” with their child when there are so many “legitimate” things wrong with children: Downs, autism, etc. A sleeping disorder seems so…. not a big deal.

But it is.

And you are not alone.

So tonight, when you are dreading the midnight crying session or the 2 am night terror…

When you are agonizing over letting him cry it out, or rocking your 40 pound preschooler until your arms and back ache enough to make you cry…

When you are second guessing every single decision you’ve ever made about your child’s sleep, from pajama choice, to bedding choice, to nightlights or not, to medication or not…

Remember that you are not alone. There are dozens, no, hundreds of mamas feeling, thinking and experiencing the exact same thing tonight. You have friends all over the world thinking the same things you are.


Are not alone.


4 thoughts on “Dear Sleepless Mama

  1. I needed to read this. I went to a Ladies group for my church last night and the lady next to me had her 2 month old that sleeps through the night 7:30pm-4:30am. She is desperate for him to sleep ALL THE WAY THROUGH! I wanted to smack her! My 28 month old and 13 month old do not sleep through the night. yes, they have slept through the night before, but that is not the norm. With our 2 year old, I do think it is a phase. She is in a big girl bed now and gets up at lease once a night. But, with our 13 month old, he has a lot of issues and sleeping is one of the huge ones. Never naps well. Never sleeps well at night. I used to think all kids could be trained to sleep well (my experience as a nanny…they all slept well), but my kids don't sleep well.

    No chance for me to take a nap either…note I watch 3 other kids 50 hours a week and of course no one naps at the same time.

    I just will be exhausted. That is my cross with motherhood.

    Thank you for making me feel not alone with this.


  2. Oh, sweet friend – I'm so sorry! This sounds ROUGH. I have no words of wisdom, just compassion for you. Wish I could hug you right now. I just caught up on all your posts this month and you've had quite a month! Praying for you.


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