I read a ton of blogs. Seriously, my bookmark list is a mile long (someone, please, teach me about RSS feeds. Please). I read a diverse group of blogs, but a large number of them are, of course, adoption related. I read adoptee blogs, adoptive parent blogs, birthparent blogs, and transracial family blogs.
It’s that last set that makes me feel…left out.
See, I am forever reading about encounters transracial families have with other people – negative encounters. Encounters where people ask questions that are inappropriate. Think along the lines of how much the child cost.
But that doesn’t happen to us. People don’t stare at us. People don’t ask us inappropriate questions. People generally don’t say stupid things to us.
And I wonder why.
We don’t live in a particularly diverse area, but it is growing more so every day. I regularly see transracial families (and usually it’s during the day, so it’s only moms & kiddos, so maybe they are adoptive families or maybe they are interracial marriages. I don’t know. I don’t ask). It’s not unusual to see families that look like us at the mall, the grocery store, the library, the park, church.
Now, I do get asked where Little Man is from. But it’s phrased that way 99% of the time: where is he from, not, where did you get him. Or, the more educated families ask me if it was a domestic adoption. I don’t get asked about his birth family, I don’t get asked how much we paid, I don’t get asked about his hair.
Maybe I look unapproachable? Except…almost every time I’m at the grocery store another customer asks me where something is or if I can reach something off of a top shelf for them.
Or maybe I just am unaware. Maybe people do stare, but I’m too busy enjoying being a mommy to notice. Or maybe because I frequently look strangers in the eye, smile and say hello before they have a chance to say anything it causes them to stop with the questions. Or maybe it’s because Little Man is just so dang cute people comment on that instead.
I don’t know. Our experiences have been mostly positive… Thank God.
Surely we’re not alone in this?