So my child has a sleep disorder. One that is not curable with therapies or surgeries or, really, medication. He has not slept through the night (8 completely uninterrupted, asleep hours) more than a handful of times in 26 months and 9 days.
But who’s counting, right?
I am. His tired mama. Who would like to have whoever decided daylight savings time was a good idea come stay with us for a week.
And here’s my rant, in bullet point fashion, because I am tired.
*I am tired of people asking, “have you tried this method?”. Yes, we have tried it all: cry it out, modified cry it out, co-sleeping, the no cry sleep solution, the happiest baby/toddler on the block, baby wise, baby whisperer, Dr. Sears, Dr. Spock and Dr. Pepper (for mama & daddy).
*I am tired of self righteous comments about how you got your baby to sleep through the night in X months, so obviously you are a better parent and I must suck at it.
*I am tired of the dark circles under my two-year old’s eyes. He could pack luggage in there, which is fine for a mama, but not a child.
*I am tired of reading how important a child’s sleep is for growth and development. It is killing me that he may not grow or develop like he should because his brain refuses to shut down.
*I am tired of reading blogs and Facebook posts where people talk about how important a child’s sleep is to their parents’ relationship. This is slowly eroding our marriage; we have no time alone together, unless we hire a babysitter, and then, really, we are both so tired we just usually fight.
*I am tired of people not realizing this is a serious issue. Most people have toddlers who go to bed between 7 & 8 and sleep, mostly uninterrupted, until 7 or 8 the next morning. That’s like, 2 or 3 hours “off” in the evenings and some time to get ready in the morning. At our house, it looks more like, fight to get him to sleep before 9:30 or 10:00, crash ourselves, get up with him two to five times, and have him up for the day between 5 & 6 am.
*Based on the above: I am tired of not being able to shower everyday, I am tired of not having a quiet, devotional time, I am tired of being so tired when he cries at 5 am that I cry, and I am tired of not getting at least five minutes of peace at night with my husband or five minutes of peace in the morning
*I am tired of people saying, “I don’t know how you do it.” I don’t know, either. I have zero patience, I cry a lot, I swear whenever the child can’t hear me, I break things in our garage for the sheer release, and I overeat.
*I am tired of people staring at Little Man’s fits in public. I just want to scream, “if you only slept half of what your body demands, you’d be melting down, too!”
*I am just tired, mostly of still feeling like this is all my fault, and if I were a better mother, he would be sleeping twelve hours a night.
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