You know, most days, I am just Little Man’s mom. We do normal stuff. He calls me “mommy,” we go to the zoo, we watch Sesame Street. It’s not that I forget that he was adopted, but it’s not on the top of my list of things I think about.
But today…oh, today.
First, in my MOPS meeting our guest speaker was a family therapist. No big deal, I thought, until she handed out the family tree assignment. Honestly, I thought I had until at least kindergarten before I had to worry about this. And Little Man was in the preschool area, so he was happily riding around in a wagon playing with other kids. He wasn’t affected by this little assignment at all.
But I spent the entire time wondering how this paper, the terminology, the presentation, would affect him when he is faced with it. “Biological” and “family of origin” and such. (another reason homeschooling looks so good to me!)
I don’t say anything, though, because I don’t want to be the “difficult” one, or the one harping all the time about adoption education issues. But then another woman, a new woman to our group, one I have not yet met, raises her hand and says, “I was adopted. So how does this work for me?” I wanted to stand up and cheer and hug this woman.
Instead, I watched the speaker hem and haw and completely not answer her question or address her concerns. Then, I watched this brave adult adoptee look as if she was battling tears the rest of the presentation. I felt like her very valid concerns were dismissed…and I ached for her. She left before I got a chance to say anything to her, and I wasn’t sure what I would say, except, “Thank you for being brave and asking.”
So I was already unsettled tonight. That has been weighing heavily on me since this morning.
My favorite TV show is on again!! “Parenthood” on NBC.
Of course they are going to have an adoption story.
(sarcasm font done)
And three times the phrase “buy her baby” was used.
I about had a stroke. Even if (and it is a big IF) the writers are trying to portray what a potential adoptive couple might think or say to one another in private, it was tasteless.
Regardless of your stance on the need for reform in the adoption industry, the phrase “buy a baby” should NEVER be so much as hinted at. Now, some will say that you are buying a baby, so zip it, Rachel. And others will agree that when you pay for an adoption you are paying for professionals and services and not a human being.
Regardless… What a horrible thing to put forth on a television show thais widely regarded as good and real.
I realize that my son has a lifetime of adoption issues ahead of him. And I am not so naive as to believe having been adopted will have no effect on him or that my love is enough to heal his losses.
But I shudder at the thought of the carelessness with which he might be treated by people who should know better. I pray, fervently, that although confusion and anger may be a part of his life, that bitterness is never granted a foothold in his heart. I pray, fervently, that he knows who he is, as a child of God, regardless of who his family is and is not.
I pray that he never faces a professional unprepared to handle his questions.
I pray that he never, for even a second, thinks that we bought him like a pet or a piece of furniture.
I pray that he… Well, I just pray. Fervently.
– Posted using BlogPress from my iPad