adoptive parenting · blog etiquette · faith · Little Man · SAHM stuff · sleep

Random Tidbits

* My 18 month old is suffering some serious sleep regression. He screams when we try to put him to bed, no matter the time of day or how exhausted he truly is. Is this separation anxiety? Stubbornness? Is he working something out?

* I will take any and all advice on the previous point that you (both of you who still read me) would like to offer. We did CIO when he was younger, to great (okay, somewhat) success. But now he scream “Mama! Mama! Mama!” like his little heart is breaking.

* I am jealous of everyone pursuing their second adoption. Sorry, friends, but it is true. We just aren’t there yet, but I am jealous. I am supportive!!! But jealous.

* I just finished our 18 month update for Nathanael’s birthmother. It’s four pages long and has 87 photos. Is it enough? Too much? Not the right information that she wants? Sigh… the perils of closed adoption.

* We have been talking to N about adoption since the day we brought him home. Our education classes suggested we start then, because by the time he is really starting to understand, we will be a little more comfortable. However, this week, as I was rocking him to sleep, I realized I have to explain why he was adopted and his four half-siblings were not. How much do I share with him (not at this age… I get that he doesn’t understand the finer points yet)? Do I tell him what their life is like (even though they got to “stay” with his birthmother)? Sigh… the perils of adoption, period.

* Part of me fancies myself a great homemaker, stay-at-home wife and mother.

* Then I look around and realize I’m not great at it at all. The house is usually littered with toys. The dog is shedding enough to make herself a companion. The laundry is in the basket (folded! but not put away). The upended diaper bag is in the middle of the kitchen.

* But I have been making Keith’s lunch at least four times a week for about a month now.

* I make dinner (or my step-mom does!) at least six nights a week (which means we aren’t eating out).

* I have been baking (except it’s 120* in Indy today) instead of buying pre-packaged cookies, brownies, etc.

* Does all that count? I don’t greet my hubby at the door with a cocktail and a smile. Hmmm…. usually it’s with a sigh of relief and a plea to watch the kid so I can pee in peace. I guess I need to work on that.

* Okay, so the heat index in Indy is 120 today. But that’s what it feels like outside, so that’s what I think the temp should be.

* I am loving some Catholic blogs lately. And I’m not Catholic. But I realize how much I have in common with these women… and I’m afraid they won’t like me because I’m Protestant (and there seems to be a fair amount of protestant-hate flying around the internets). But I’ve slowly started to leave comments here and there. So if you’re over from one of those blogs, welcome!!

* I think if you pursue adoption and then get pregnant and decide not to adopt, you probably should have never considered it in the first place, because obviously it was about you finding a child and not finding a family for a child that needs one.

* What is it with the snarkiness and vitriol on blogs and Twitter? If you don’t like what someone has to say, why are you reading their blog? Don’t you have something better to do with your time? Your life?

* Totally random, I know. But at least it’s a post!!!

8 thoughts on “Random Tidbits

  1. Thankfully Aliya has always been a good sleeper. She did go through a few months of refusing to fall asleep for hours, but we finally put her down earlier and she got it. But if the CIO worked before, try it again. It's so hard. There was a Mad About You episode about this that made me cry.

    I know N's bio-mom will love all the pictures and updates. I pray she opens up some day. But in her defense, if it was me, I honestly don't know if I could have openness this early on (I know it's been 18 months, but it's still early for her I'm sure).

    As for talking to N about his adoption story, keep it simple and positive. She loved him SO much… as for the siblings that's rough. Our bio-mom doesn't have custody of her son and we've never said that he is Aliya's brother. Jocelyn is D's bio-mom too is all we've said. I'm sure we'll add more to the story in time, but for now that satisfies her.

    I don't great my husband with drinks and a smile either, but I'm sure he'd like it!!!!

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  2. Gosh I love this post… I love moms and adoptive moms and people who appreciate Catholics but aren't “officially” Catholic (I'm in the same camp!). As far as updates, seriously, any and everything you share, we appreciate, treasure, and value more than you know. You don't have to be “perfect”. We just want to see pictures and hear stories and know that our children are soo soo loved and cherished and thriving. That could be two pictures or two hundred (though we could stare at two hundred for sure!). I love that you are a woman juggling life, a marriage, a household, and being a mom. Sorry to sound sappy but I wanted my child to be raised by a woman JUST LIKE YOU, and I found one. So don't beat yourself up over the dog hairs. The kid remembers the dog and the love and the lessons, not the hairs 🙂 And you being THERE- being present, being available, being an amazing mom, is what we all remember most! xoxo

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  3. I second what Kelly said about simple and positive. I have similar struggles with how much to share (when it comes to the b/f) and it can easily stress you out, but I just have to keep it simple.

    It really bothers me that our agency had a policy that if you become pregnant while in the program that you have to put your file on inactive. I'm thinking our next adoption we might have to find an agency with a different policy.

    and I think most of us have similar houses and that's just the life of a mom with young children!!

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  4. The 18 mo thing is not unusual- Boy went through it a little earlier than that (then it snowballed into something unrelated), and 'teh intarwebz' told me that it's likely due to a developmental spurt around that age. It sucks, but don't worry about it.

    You are a braver soul than I – six nights a week? Wow.

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