being a mommy · faith · life is messy · Little Man · sick

I’m Not Dead

Well, it’s been a month. And for me this month has all been about a lack of balance. (by the way… Nathanael [yes, that’s his name] broke the ” b” and “l” keys off of the computer – makes it difficult to type!).

Just when I think to myself, “Okay, I’ll get up at 6:30 tomorrow morning so I can pray, journal, shower, have a moment of peace…” Nathanael wakes up at 4. Or 4:30. Or 6. And refuses to go back to sleep. So I think, “Aha! I’ll do those things during nap time!” Except, if I’m up with him at 4. Or 4:30. Or 6. I need naptime, too, or I become one impatient mommy around 6pm when my husband still isn’t home and I’ve been single mommy all. the. live. long. day.

Will I ever figure it out? Sigh…. eventually, right? And then we’ll add something else into the mix.

Sigh. Again.

Anyway… it’s been a crazy month. We went camping for five days. It sounded like a good idea at the time, but in reality it involves everything I do at home every day without the conveniences of home. We had fun, but I still haven’t had any time “off” since February. That was like 4 months ago, and that was because I had the flu.

I know mommies aren’t really supposed to get time “off,” right? Right? Am I alone in thinking I’d like a few hours alone with no responsibility?

Again… balance. I feel like if I had a few moments during each day where I could focus on God in a quiet setting, I’d at least feel less stressed. And I feel guilty if I blog because that’s time I could use to focus on God.

I’m sure I’ll figure it out.

Eventually.

But now I must go nap… he woke up with a fever at 4 am and is finally back asleep (at 10:30 am) and I’ll need all my strength this afternoon.

I promise to try and blog more often 🙂

But here’s a picture from last night, just to cheer you up (all both of you who are still reading this blog…)

He already had a slight fever. Oh, and the wii remote is apparently his new lovey 🙂  He wasn’t playing it – he was just holding it while he watched “Sesame Street.”

 

5 thoughts on “I’m Not Dead

  1. I don't know if we ever really do figure it out. I think at some point the lack of time for yourself & never-ending list of others (things & people) who need your attention just becomes a part of your new normal. I wish I could tell you it gets easier but at least in our house, things have gotten even more chaotic as the little one discovers his (very strong) will & (even stronger) ability to make gigantic messes! Whew…it can be exhausting but then, WE are also the ones who get their sloppy kisses and cries for, “Mommy!” when they're scared. When I watch him sleep, I remember that I wouldn't trade it for a thing, not even a few unmitigated hours to myself! 🙂 hugs to you, he is gorgeous!!

    Like

  2. First off, LOVE his name. Second, been there done that and couldn't (God did not give me the gift of being a SAHM). I take my hat off to you. I will pray tonight that you find 5 minutes in your day tomorrow for just you and God. (and 5 extra minutes for just you)

    Like

  3. Just last night I was talking to my husband about feeling like an awful mom because I wanted some alone time with no responsibilities. This blog post timing was perfect to know that I am not alone.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s