being a mommy · mommy guilt · sick · transracial adoption

Mommy Guilt

Does anyone else experience this? I’ve been reading a great book about the best decisions a woman can make, and there was basically a whole chapter on guilt and how to discern if it’s from God or the enemy. But because I was up sick all night with the stomach flu (TMI, I know, sorry), here’s my heart today.

Today I feel guilty because:

I was in bed all day because I spent all night running to the bathroom.
My husband had to call in sick to take care of Little Man today, because I couldn’t.
But if I were a “better” mother, I’d have been able to deal, right?
Do any other women out there beg their husbands to stay home once a year when the flu hits?
If I were a “better” mother, I would just power through the sickness, right?
I sent my boys to my parents’ for dinner because the thought of food is nauseating.
We had to decide at 4:30 this morning if Keith would stay home.
Maybe we should have called my mom.
But at 4:30 in the morning?
But I really don’t feel better now, at 5:45 pm… will I feel better tomorrow?
What if I don’t feel better? How will I take care of LM if I can’t barely stand up?
How do single parents do it?
Why didn’t I go take care of my friend Heidi while she was sick?

Other things I have felt guilty about in the past week:

I feed LM lots of frozen veggies and 100% juice-canned fruit
Because fresh veggies & fruits spoil before he eats them
The other night, all he wanted for dinner was crackers
So that’s what he ate. Crackers.
I’ve been letting LM stay up late until his daddy gets home, because I know they miss each other
But it’s wrecking his schedule
Does that really matter at this age?
I want to get rid of our dogs
I’m afraid to fly to vacation in a few weeks
Because I’m afraid people will question that LM is our son

So… there I am. Feeling guilty. Anyone else struggle with mommy guilt?

7 thoughts on “Mommy Guilt

  1. don't feel guilty. i've been sick for the last two weeks with a cold and a cough that's been keeping me up at night. not good when sammy wakes up at 6 or 6:30 everyday. last tuesday i was trying to power through but knew i couldn't do it. i sent chris a text message saying i needed a sick day. it was 10 in the morning. he came home and i was able to rest up that afternoon but for the most part, i've had to suck it up and soldier on.

    i feel guilty that i try and get sammy to go back to sleep in the morning so that i can get another hour of sleep. as for pets, we have cats and some days i wish we didn't. as much as i love the kitties they sometimes add another layer of stress to my day.

    some days are better than others. thankfully the good days outweigh the bad. i'm sure your better days are coming. hang in there.


  2. Stop worrying.
    (I know, easier said than done)
    Here's what I've found:
    No matter how badly I think I mess up with my kids or no matter how hard I try to be a “perfect” mom, the most important thing at the end of the day is my child (x3), kissing me and hugging me goodnight, telling me how much she loves me, and that I'm the best mom ever.
    Even on the days when I let them have popsicles (today) or snow (last month) for breakfast.
    Even on the days when I let them wear their pajamas (yesterday) or princess dress-up clothes (it's happened before) out in public.
    Even on the days when I lose my temper, am the most imperfect human being, and yell and scream (um…most every day).
    One of my fav worry quotes: Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of it's troubles; it empties today of its strength.
    I've found that try to be the best mom isn't all that it's cracked up to be, but being a really good mom suits me just fine…..and my kids still think I'm the best 🙂
    (no worries about not taking care of me – my kiddos had their own movie night and were surprisingly well behaved while I snoozed away)


  3. R at crackers for lunch yesterday. A few of them had cheese, but then he just wanted straight crackers. I'm also out of bread, so his other choices would have been slim. lol

    And I sometimes wish I felt worse when I was sick so B would call off and stay home with Reid. I never get incapacitated sick unless it's my pancreas (and I'd rather not deal with that again, thankyouverymuch), but sometimes I wish my little bit of sick would get me out of mommy duty.

    So there you go. I wish for the flu so I don't have to care for my son. Where's your guilt now, sista? lol


  4. I feel guilty I am not stimulating my four month old enough. He feels “parked” a lot or riding around on my shoulder.
    I feel guilty when I complain about lack of sleep due to my baby when others are still praying for their future children.
    I feel guilty I am not a better wife.
    I feel guilty that I only half-a** cook and the house is gross.
    I feel guilty my 2 yr old spends a lot of independent time.
    I feel really guilty I spend days not looking at, touching, or talking to the dog.
    I think it is huge you are giving your kid fruits and veggies. It doesn't seem to be the norm. I think it is awesome your dh wants to play with your son and I think that is okay to let him get off sched so they can bond that way. I would have paid someone to take care of the kids when I was sick.
    It sounds to me like you are pretty typical and awesome at the same time!


  5. I'm not there yet, but all of that seems typical to me. Women have a tendency to overthink things sometimes I am the president of that club.


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