being a mommy · Little Man · sleep · transracial adoption

Things I’ve Learned the Hard Way…

In no particular order:

…being a mommy means no vacation, even when your hubby is on vacation. There are always bottles to wash, diapers to change and bedtimes to maintain.

…sleep training is SO important, but SO hard to do. We had LM sleeping pretty well, and then he quit. Then he started sleeping through the night again. Then he quit. The doc said today a pattern like that is normal. So here we go again with sleep training.

…once you become a mother, anything that has to do with any child getting hurt breaks your heart.

…you cannot protect your child from life’s inevitable pain…even if it’s something little like falling down while learning to stand.

…there are so many broken miserable people in this world. How will I ever protect my son from bitter hateful people? And why can’t people – all of us are broken in some fashion, by the way – why can’t people just be nice to each other?????

…afternoon naps for little ones are very important.

…when you become a stay at home mommy, sometimes you really must stay at home, because baby needs a nap and his schedule must be maintained.

…I have wonderful mommy friends who love me and pray for me (don’t know that there’s anything particularly hard about learning that…).

…God really does speak in a still, small voice. And when there is no silence or space in your life, it’s really hard to hear Him.

…Baby boys will pee all over you, at least once a week.

…separation anxiety is real and has nothing to do with the the bond other people have with your child.

…babble can almost sound like English.

…people will stare at multi-ethnic families and make comments that are borderline innapropriate. In the grocery store. Very loudly. While you decide whether to comment in return, run away, or make some sarcastic response. And then you realize you only have a few more months (maybe) before your son understands these comments and you have to figure out what to say to him.

…while talking about raising children who have character, you have the added pressure of bringing up a child of color who had better have extra-super character, because he’ll face racism a lot, and he’ll need to have a good character and reputation to fight off people’s negativity and stupidity.

…things always look worse with little sleep. They tend to look better after more sleep. So sleep when you can. Like now 🙂

7 thoughts on “Things I’ve Learned the Hard Way…

  1. Every time I read one of your posts, I tell myself that I could have written that. Your thoughts resonate a lot with me. In today's post, this point stood out for me:

    “…people will stare at multi-ethnic families and make comments that are borderline innapropriate. In the grocery store. Very loudly. While you decide whether to comment in return, run away, or make some sarcastic response. And then you realize you only have a few more months (maybe) before your son understands these comments and you have to figure out what to say to him.”

    Exactly what I was thinking when I wrote this on my blog.
    http://lakshmusings.com/2010/10/06/why-does-it-matter-to-you/

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  2. I love the way you write, so I can be prepared.

    My husband and I kept our two and a half year old nephew last weekend and I gave him a bath, and I gave him a bowl to play with in the bubbles. At one point he held the bowl down in front of himself and peed into it. Then he handed it to me. I laughed so hard.

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  3. people make inappropriate comments about non multi ethnic families too. Jack's background is the same as ours, and people are just stupid. Even people who don't know J. was adopted say REALLY stupid things. Don't take it too personally. People as a mob are just not very tactful or bright about what to say to others.

    Especially the older gen to the younger gen. My grandmother's friend recently zinged me big time, and it was just stupid. The question “WHY CAN'T we just be nice to one another” is my mantra. I try to. I really do.

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  4. I often think the same thing…your posts seem to always be something I could have written too…

    The racial points make me so sad 😦 People are seriously dumb sometimes, while those who have adopted (especially) have hearts as big as the universe.

    And the sleep training..oh the sleep training. You summed it up well: so important yet SO HARD! I found the older LB got, the better sleep went overall (less rough patches). Hopefully you will notice the same with LM.

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  5. I will never understand why people can't just be nice to each other either! I think that was (maybe?) in one of your previous posts but it stood out to me.

    It's late and I'm tired but I just had to leave a quick comment. Man I miss blogging so much these days.

    The grocery store thing. Yeah, it sucks. I'm reaching the point now where C. is starting to understand the attentions we get, both negative and positive. I've started making sure I use the word adoption in a positive way every day. He doesn't really get any of it yet but it won't be long before he starts having questions. *GULP* It is super scary and overwhelming at times but when I start to feel that way too much, I just slow down and take it one day at a time. That's all any of us can really do anyway.

    Hang in there and keep blogging. I DO read when I have time, just don't often have a chance to comment these days. 🙂

    Hugs,

    Melba

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  6. I've learned that I can't watch movies or the news the same way. Anything with kids affects me in a completely different way. I found myself crying at the end of The Dark Knight when Commissioner Gordon's son was being held hostage by the Joker. Crying. Being a mom is so weird.

    And I only got peed on twice by Reid. Ever. I think LM is messing with you. lol

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