being a mommy · help · SAHM stuff · schedule

How Long?

A friend of mine gave birth to a precious baby boy last October. In March, she said she still didn’t feel “normal,” and that she has heard it takes a year after giving birth to feel like yourself again.

Obviously I didn’t give birth…so I wonder how long it takes for adoptive mommies?

When I started teaching, it was well into my third year as a teacher before I felt like I got it.

When we got married, it was well into the second year of our marriage before I really felt like a wife.

How long before I feel like I’ve transitioned into a mother?

Seriously, readers…how long did it take you?

There are days that I really feel like a mother – days where I have it all together and really get it.

But there are still other days where it is so…surreal…to have this no-longer-a-baby-not-quite-a-toddler climbing all over me and our house.

And figuring out who I am as a mother….pshaw (because I can’t figure out how to spell the sound of air blowing out of my lips). Again…some days I see a glimpse of who I am and who I want to be as a mother. Other days it’s all I can do to shower and dress and feed the family and myself!!

I am a girl who thrives on routine and structure. Part of why I loved teaching was the routine of it – I could tell you what I would be doing at any point in the day. I ate lunch at the same time for SEVEN YEARS. Now? Nothing is routine.

I mean, yes, there is a loose structure to our days, but nothing like I used to have. Nothing like I’d like to have…but, again, seriously, how do you structure the day of an 8 month old?

I just keep hoping that next month I’ll get it. Next month we’ll have a routine…a structure…I’ll be better at this, Little Man, I promise.

But next month is now…I can’t focus forever on the future. I’m certainly not wishing away Little Man’s little life, nor am I wishing away this magical time where I get to be home with him every day…

I just wonder….how long before I transition into mommy? About the time I transition into mommy of two…or into homeschool mommy….or new house mommy?  🙂

How long did it take you to transition into mommy (or daddy, if I have any male readers)?

***My little followers thingie says I have 40 followers….this would be a great post to use to introduce yourself to me 🙂  ***

8 thoughts on “How Long?

  1. Hello my name is Maya (I have a blog, but haven't actually written anything in forever!)

    My daughter (we adopted her as a newborn) is 5 years old and I think I really started feeling like a mom towards the end of her first year, up until then it was still surreal that we had a baby and that she was ours to keep. Somedays still, I feel like I haven't figured out the mom thing yet, I mean there is always a new situation that will arise and make you feel inadequate but you just learn something new in those times.

    Just 2 days ago, my precious girl was stung almost 20 times by hornets, I was infuriated!!! How dare they touch my baby and make her hurt and cry and I felt helpless that I couldn't protect her from that.

    Being a mom is hard work!!

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  2. Sometimes I just feel like he's this little person who lives with us–despite him calling me “Mama” all day long. lol When it's just him and me, I rarely think about the fact that I'm his mommy. We're just playpals or something (until it's time to discipline–then I definitely have to be mama!). But when I'm around other moms or around my husband, I think of us as a family or mother and son. So it comes and goes. It still feels surreal, and he's nearly two!

    I think there's always going to be something weird and kind of miraculous about it. That's the new normal!

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  3. It took me about 10 months to finally get it together. It's easy to lose your own identity while trying to find your mommy identity. At about 10 months I figured out how to balance both myself and being a mommy. Oh and the mommy guilt never goes away. But you do eventually learn to not beat yourself up over those days when you are not totally on top of your game.

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  4. I'm still not sure I feel like a Mommy and Parker is 2! It's still surreal and I'm continually overwhelmed at the task of raising a person. I'm with you – some days I am SO on it. Other days, I totally break down because I'm not even CLOSE to good enough for her. I think that's just how it is – at least for me!

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  5. Most of the time, I feel like a mommy. I'm still learning of course, but I feel like K needs me, and I know that I know what to do for her more than anyone else does, so that validates it for me. The thing that makes me feel like a failure is when another mom finds it necessary to give me advice that I don't want (b/c apparently I need it) or give me a “look” when I'm telling them about K when I drop her off in the church nursery, like I don't know what I'm talking about.

    I think that we will continue to transition throughout our lives, and we just kind've hang on for the ride:)

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  6. 18 months

    But I dealt with some depression and denial along with other things so I'm not sure you should listen to me.

    As far as a schedule what I have found works great for us is to get out in the mornings. Whether it's errands, story time (even with an 8 month old), park or just for a walk I try to get us out of the house in the morning. Then it's home for lunch and nap and then we just chill out at home, unless daddy is home then we might get out.
    You have to schedule around his nap when he's this little though.

    You'll get there and it will get easier once he's more mobile and playing with you.

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  7. I'd say it's somewhere between 1 and 2. So I'm still adjusting to being a mom of two, but think I've found our groove, but only recently. There are many days where I feel I've lost my identity and am just Mom. But I love them so much, I just feel like I'm not the best I can be, but God must've known me up task or he wouldn't have lent them to me. Hope you find your Groove soon.

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