Not a romantic tale, this one. Not at all. No Tom Hanks here, unforunately…
Are there such things as good sleepers and bad sleepers? Because if so…I have a bad sleeper.
And I’m tired.
We were doing really well. He started sleeping through the night at six months.
I did “Babywise” and “Baby Whisperer.” Both books practically scream at you, “I guarantee your child will sleep through the night by three months.”
Good thing I bought them at the discount bookstore so I didn’t feel like I wasted a ton of money.
Then I hear multiple parents talk about how their angelic babies sleep through the night at 6…7…8 weeks.
So our pediatrician tells us to let him cry it out. As do multiple “experts.”
Society tells me I’m a horrible mother for that one. As do multiple “experts.”
But we RESPONSIBLY let him cry it out. It takes one night. He starts sleeping through the night the next night.
So for a little over a month, we do fine. He goes down around 8:30, wakes up around 5, has a bottle and goes back to sleep for 2-3 hours. We have one little hiccup in there where he have him cry it out for another night. Then he goes back to fine.
Then Sunday hits. Now he goes down around 8:30, wakes up and cries at 11 for about an hour, sleeps, then wakes up and cries at 3 for about two hours.
Nothing helps except rocking and the “shushing” sound.
And at 4 am, when you’re crying along with your child, the doubt creeps in….
Should we do cry it out again, even if he cries for hours? Even if we go in every 15 minutes and pat his back and tell him how much we love him? Is my truck-driving husband (who operates multi-ton equipment every day on the highway) getting enough sleep? Does Little Man know how frustrated I am? Is it oozing out of my pores? Will he ever sleep through the night again? Is this an adoption attachment thing? Is he mad we went away Saturday night and since he can’t talk about it he’s waking up to ensure we’re here? Is he having night terrors? Is it his upper teeth? I think they’re close. Does something hurt and I can’t tell?
Anyway…we are sleepless in Indy right now. I’d love some encouragement…not necessarily advice, I guess, but encouragement.
Does it sound like he’s a bad sleeper? Is there even such a thing?
8 thoughts on “Sleepless in Indy”
He sounds like a normal baby, going through a normal phase. They ALL do this at different points. Whether it's growing pains, teeth, whatever, it's hard to tell. I really don't have any advice other than “this too shall pass”. We just went through this with my 20 month old…he's been sleeping through the night for over a year! It's tiring and frustrating, but it doesn't last forever. (They do eventually go away to college!)
Hang in there Rachel! I promise you it gets better. 🙂 One of my twins was doing this every other day. Me and hubby did not follow any books. Just did what felt right. Depending on how she cried (gasping for breath or plaintive whining) we would either bring her back to sleep with us or let her cry it out. As a rule we never let the kids cry over 30 mins. Some days were real hard with both of us getting less than an hour's sleep through the night. The kids are 17 months now and are finally (touchwood!) sleeping through the night. I wondered if it was adoption related attachment issues as well since they were 10 months when we adopted them. I am not sure anymore. I know you said no advice but couldn't help. Just wanted to say I understand your frustration and believe me it does get better. Hugs!
Poor thing 😦 I feel your discouragement, but they do say sleep training is a spiral. They do good then they regress and you just have to keep being consistent with the sleep training. If you keep it up now, when he is older you will def reap the benefits. Don't give up!!!!!!! Maybe there is a factor that is interupting his sleep. Hopefully once that factor goes away he will go back to STTN. If not, and you are sure there is nothing wrong, you may just have to let him CIO again and relearn.
Frustrating, yes!!!! But worth it! DON'T GIVE UP or feel he will never sleep through the night again!!!
I think there is such a thing as good and bad sleepers. Sorry it's so rough right now. It will get better. I remember tons of things that we went through with Parker that I thought would never end and life would never be easy again. Hang in there.
Maybe not a bad sleeper but we have a child that just doesn't need as much sleep as most. And she's very persistent. If we let her cry it out it would be HOURS and we're not willing to put her through that. She was sleeping through the night by 2. Not 2 months 2 years. Then we moved and had to do it all over again since we had so many interruptions and changes for her. We're just now (almost 4 months later) seeing improvements.
Some of it was changes, some was attachment for us. Some was also her 2 year molars coming in.
So yes, it could be any of those things. And this too will pass. Only other book I'd recommend is the No Cry Sleep Solution. It offers ideas to remove yourself from the sleep process, helping him learn to fall asleep without you there.
At those early hours in the morning remember that you are not alone. You are not the only mom out there whose child still won't sleep through the night. I know it doesn't sound like it will help to remember that but eventually I let it sink in and it did help because I realized that I wasn't doing anything wrong. We did what we decided was right for our child and we handle it the best we can.
It's not an adoption thing. Maybe it's just a teething little boy thing. Sam's been having weeks like that for a while. Just when you think you've adjusted to the new insane 'routine', like I wouldn't bother going to bed before 1 because I knew he'd wake up a couple times before that. Then Poof. He changes, and sleeps from 8-5. Hard to break that going to bed LATE thing when he's up early. Anyway, it will get better. It comes and goes, in ebbs and flows, and before you know it, he'll be sleeping in until noon…so I hear. 😉
Believe me you're doing everything right. He could have intermittent gassy nights or he's teething a little bit.
I wrote a comment on teething on the facebook group. if you arent' a member you should be!
Find a comfy spot and cuddle him the nights he needs it. it could be as simple as that.
Hang in there mama!
Mine did that and, after much weeping (his) and gnashing of teeth (ours), we discovered it was teething, so we went with the homeopathic teething tablets and he slept through the night again. Trial and error, my dear! I was so excited that he was sleeping through the night at 9 weeks and so disappointed when he started un-sleeping through the night. I wish I'd found those tablets earlier! Or at least suspected it was teething—I can't see into that little mouth of his!