Disclaimer #1: If you don’t have a biblical worldview, you will disagree with everything I am about to post. Therefore, since we start at different points of view, arguing is pointless. (said worldview being this: sex is for marriage. period. end of discussion.)
Disclaimer #2: I think there does need to be reform in the adoption industry. However, I think education is key and the majority of people who are against adoption (not against adoption reform – against adoption) fail to acknowledge that.
Disclaimer #3: If you are still struggling with infertility and still hate that you can’t get pregnant, you might get angry (again) reading this post. (because it’s not fair…)
Disclaimer #4: I’m not talking about foster care or married families that are in horrible situations. I am talking about unmarried women, no matter their age.
Okay….so this post has been floating around in my head since last week. I am tired of people not realizing that at the root of the need for infant adoption in this country is the glamorization of sex.
There. I said it.
In other words, if we didn’t, as a society, glamorize sex so that even 11 & 12 year old children were having sex, the need for adoption (especially infant adoption) would be greatly reduced.
We teach our children there are consequences to their actions:
…you touch a hot stove, you get burned
…you don’t look before crossing the street, you get smushed by a car
…you get into the car of a stranger, you get hurt or dead
…you eat the little berries on the bush out front and you get sick
Why don’t we teach them that you have sex, you get babies?
You can study the history of sex in the United States and see the correllation between the rise of unprotected premarital sex and the rise of the adoption industry.
What if we just taught and reinforced that sex = babies?
“Wait! What?” I hear people gasping. “Tell people that they should wait until they are married to have sex? Tell children that sex is for grown ups who are married? Tell people that sex isn’t a right but a privilege of marriage? Stop watching crap on television? Stop letting my child do whatever they want?”
If we returned to even a moral society, let alone a biblical one, there would be fewer babies born to women who don’t realize babies are a side effect of sex!!!!!
Our society is completely hedonistic. Our society says to do whatever you want…whatever feels good…don’t worry about later, focus on what you are feeling now. We teach our children that, too, by a lack of teaching them otherwise. We give children whatever they want whenever they want and we let them watch whatever they want on TV (especially if we put a TV in their bedroom and assume they go to sleep at night…ha ha ha). Do we sit down and explain to them that although everyone who wants to has sex on television and in the movies and no one ever gets pregnant or has an STD, that if they do they same thing they will most likely get an STD or pregnant?
No. Parents don’t. Trust me. I taught middle school for seven years.
And when the feminist movement came into full force, women were encouraged to be like men and just sleep with whoever they wanted.
The problem with that is women are the ones who get pregnant while the men get another notch on their bedpost.
And we don’t tell the young women this.
So I don’t get the disconnect in people’s thinking:
A) Women – and girls, as young as they want – should have sex whenever they want with whoever they want
B) We’ll neglect to mention that the teenage & early twenty years are prime fertility years and that no birth control is 100% effective. Oh,and we’ll emphasize that abstinence is a stupid and unrealistic idea and that even though it is 100% effective at preventing STDs and pregnancy, no one could possibly have enough self-control to actually remain abstinent until marraige (even though millions of people do).
C) We’ll tell women (oh, and the underage girls, let’s not forget them) that if they do get pregnant they can rip the unborn child from their womb, without mention of long-term post-abortion side effects. Oh, and we’ll make sure they know they aren’t bad for doing this.
D) But if they decide they want to complete the pregnancy and make an adoption plan, we’ll vilify them, the people that help them, and the families that are prepared to parent.
I don’t get it.
If you want to stop infant adoption, why not start with education? Why not start with abstinence education? That’s the only way to guarantee that women don’t become pregnant with children they don’t really want or aren’t ready to parent or are shocked to realize are there!
What makes us think that a 12 year old is ready to be a mother?
The fact that said 12 year old thinks she’s ready to have sex?
Who told her she was ready to have sex? Do you know how many 12 year old girls realize that if they have sex they could get pregnant? Very very few.
Do you know how many unwed women find themselves pregnant and are surprised? Why are they surprised? Because society has indoctrinated them into believing “it won’t happen to them.”
Why don’t we start with education? Where is the outcry to teach women that sex = babies?
Why don’t we start by teaching people the Truth? That sex is sacred. And for strengthening marriage. And for the creation of children, among other things.
It is not a game. It is not a hobby. It is not a right. It is not a way to grow closer to your date.
It’s sacred. And beautiful. And designed for the purpose of making babies. And causing a couple to become one. Nowhere on this planet do you come closer to understanding the Trinity than making love to your spouse – the two become one. It helps you understand the closeness in the relationship between God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.
Why don’t I ever hear people talk about that?