I hesitate to post this, because I know people will judge me. But I want to help people, so I hope someone out there find this helpful.
I’m normal!! At least, that’s what this book showed me.
As you know from reading, I have really been struggling. Not so much with being a mommy (I love Little Man to the ends of the earth and back) but with the realities of being a mommy (lack of sleep, isolation, major life changes). Apparently, these changes in life (when one becomes a mommy) can really throw a woman for a loop.
Add into that the additional aspects of adoption (family acceptance or not, friend acceptance or not, communication with birthparents or not, etc., etc.) and it is VERY common for adoptive mothers to experience something akin to post-partum depression.
Although the majority of this book is dedicated to adoptive parents who have brought home older children, there was still a fair amount of material aimed at helping adoptive parents through ALL stages. The subtitle, in fact, is “Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption.”
I put in a call to my social worker two weeks ago to meet with me. I was experiencing a whole host of emotions that I was feeling guilty about feeling. Then this book arrived via inter-library loan, and my whole outlook changed. I realized the emotions I was feeling were normal and okay to feel and I had nothing to feel guilty about!
I’m not really going to go into detail about what I was feeling, because that belongs to me and our family. But there is a very helpful little section that asked point-blank questions that I could answero yes, yes, no, no, no, yes, yes, no to, and that just opened my eyes to what I was feeling.
I’m not sure I’m completely “over it.” There are days I still feel like I’m playing house (except when I was little and played house, the house was always clean and the husband was always home by 5:00), but those are fewer and further apart.
If you (or someone you know) are stuggling AT ALL since beginning the adoption process or bringing home your child(ren), then by all means grab this book. It is a bit clinical (it’s written for parents AND professionals) but not so much so that the average reader wouldn’t get it. It’s full of true-life stories written by true-life adoptive parents and professionals alike.
If you have questions about the book, or even what prompted me to read it (thanks, Debbie!!!!), then by all means email me!!
The Post-Adoption Blues: Overcoming the Unforeseen Challenges of Adoption.
Karen J. Foli and John R. Thompson
Rodale Press, 2004