Baby · Book Review · parenting books

Book Review: 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed (plus post 100, tidbits, and more!)

WOW! Post 100! Who thought in June when I started this as a way to alleviate some adoption-journey loneliness so much good would have come from it 🙂


Melba gifted me with this “Beautiful Blogger” award a week ago and in the frenzy of my week, I forgot to create my own nominations. Better late than never I guess, right? (which I just copied word-from-word from Melba!!) Thanks, Melba! You have been a true friend in the blogosphere!!!

As part of receiving this award, there are a few rules:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award. (Done!)

2. Post this award to 15 other bloggers that you follow and think are great! (actually, because it’s moments before Little Man awakens again – just check out my sidebar. Those of you listed, consider yourself nominated and awarded!!!)

3. Leave a message on each blog, letting them know you are giving them this award. (yea, probably don’t have time for that….like I said, see #2!!)

4. Post seven things about yourself.

A) I’m horrible to deal with when I don’t get enough sleep. Just ask those who I’ve snapped at in the past 6 weeks 🙂
B) I just realized I’ll be 35 this year. I’m equal parts excited (I have a son!) and terrified.
C) I’m resigning from my job this week so I can be home with Little Man. Again, equal parts excited and terrified!
D) Being a mother is the hardest job I’ve ever had. But I LOVE it…and you will, too, those of you waiting!
E) I miss reading and sleeping in on the weekends
F) I am petrified of food poisoning…like, I will refuse to eat some things or wait and see if it makes anyone else sick, first. I have to give myself a pep talk when I eat out…seriously, there is something wrong with me!!
G) I sometimes wonder (courtesy of Fac.ebook) if I’m missing out on not being friends with the exact same group of people since high school. I mean, I have grown-up friends. Is that so wrong?

Book Review:

Okay, so even though I just said I miss reading, I did manage to read a book last week. Stupid me, I searched out that horrible webzine that trashed me in November and realized there were new comments about me. And I read them. Dumb dumb DUMB. Anyway…call it coincidence or serendipity (I call it God), but I found this book at the library: “20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed” by Sherrie Eldridge. Apparently she also wrote a book about what adopted kids wish their adoptive parents knew, but I didn’t know that when I picked up the book.

So the book. It was really really good. I was a little apprehensive, since I’ve heard not-so-good things about her other book. But this is very pro-adoptive parent. She herself is an adoptee, so she has a lot of experience in this arena. Plus she is a Christian, and it was refreshing to read someone’s account on how faith can play into the adoption experience for all triad members. Meaning, she admits that having faith can change some things!

Anyway…there are actually more than 20 things adoptive parents should know. But here are some of the big ones: Beware of Mixed Feelings, Know that Being Different is a Good Thing, Strive for Parent/Child Intimacy, Honor Your Child’s Birth Parents. All in all, she has good things to say.

She does refer to adoptive children many times as “children with special needs.” I had never really thought in those terms before, but I think she is right. Eldridge quotes many psychologists, researchers and doctors, most of whom are adoptive parents themselves.

What I really liked is how positive Eldridge is about adoption in general. She also acknowledges that the trend in media and society these days is to portray adoptive and prospective adoptive parents as horrible, greedy, narcissistic, incapable, uninformed morons. It was nice to hear a “professional” and an adoptee acknowledge that, as well as admit she has never ever met a set of adoptive parents who fit those descriptions!

Eldridge states that her goal is to help adoptive parents become and feel successful. She also includes numerous true-life accounts and stories of herself and many many other adoptive families. All in all, this is a very affirming book. Like I said, I was having a bad week and plucked this off of the “new books” shelf at our library. I will be buying it soon, because I can definitely see wanting it to refer to down the road.

20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed: Discover the Secrets to Understanding the Unique Needs of Your Adopted Child – and Becoming the Best Parent You Can Be.
Sherrie Eldridge
Random House Publishing Group, 2009.


  • I cannot believe that Little Man is SIX WEEKS OLD!! My how time flies 🙂
  • We have survived our first day alone with mommy being very sick from a cold/flu/sore throat
  • Prayer truly does work – the abovementioned sickness only lasted one day! Thank you, Jesus!
  • We survived our first road trip to Detroit over the weekend! Little Man did great in the car, but I had to ride in the back seat. Yay for Dramamine!
  • We had pictures taken of the three little ones (Little Man and his two girly cousins) for the grandparents – adorable!
  • We’re still not sleeping through the night…sigh…
  • But we will!!!!!

Okay, that’s enough for this post. I’ll try to get back to regularly posting, but Little Man is awake more often now. Of course, not today, because I think we’re hitting a growth spurt, and all he wants to do is eat and sleep 🙂

4 thoughts on “Book Review: 20 Things Adoptive Parents Need to Succeed (plus post 100, tidbits, and more!)

  1. Oh, thanks for reviewing that book! I have her other book and managed to get halfway through it before I had to put it down. I actually like it but there's a lot to take in. Now that I've read Pri.mal Wou.nd which was much more difficult I think I can read this author with more of an open mind/heart/whatever….and somedays I just want to toss the books and wing it. 🙂


  2. Her other book is entitled, “Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew” I'm wondering why wouldn't you want to hear what adoptees want their parents to know?
    I'm just curious because I've heard it's a very good resource.
    My mother wishes there had been a book like that available when my sibling and I were growing up.


  3. I love your site – and congratulations on your new son. I found you on “lost and found”, where I am too.

    I'm writing a book (hopefully will be published, I'm keeping my fingers crossed) about our adoption journey, which has not always been a piece of cake.

    Check it out if you like:

    I'd love to post a link to your blog. Perhaps you'd be interested in doing the same for me.
    Let me know.

    Best – Mary

    PS: I too like the “20 things adopted kids . . ” book. I highly recommend it.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s