adoption journey · blog friends · questions · The Wait

Can’t Think of a Title…

How many more days until January 9?

Why am I totally nesting? I mean, seriously…laundry load after laundry load…relining all the kitchen cabinets…rearranging rooms…cleaning…crying over things that don’t stay clean very long (courtesy of the mega-shedding dogs)…re-rearranging rooms…rearranging dresser drawers…cleaning out closets….making list after list…

Why am I so moody?

Why can’t I sleep?

How will I survive 1 1/2 days of school?

Where will I put all the stuff that’s currently in my classroom that I don’t want to leave unattended?

How do you fold a onesie? Really?

Are we going to have enough money to eat next year?

What if S changes her mind?

Does anyone else have this constant barrage of thoughts pouring through their head as they wait out the last few weeks of their match?

Is anyone else totally NOT excited about Christmas, because it’s yet ANOTHER Christmas with no child?

Do you think I could sleep from Saturday until January 9?

How many people will read this post and misunderstand me and accuse me of being (insert your own nasty adjective here)?

How many people will read it and understand?

Where are allΒ my bloggy friends who recently became mothers? I need to know what it’s like on the other side…

Thank God that Jesus and my husband love me unconditionally…

15 thoughts on “Can’t Think of a Title…

  1. I get it!! I'm totally right there with you (I've gone with the 3-way onesie fold;)). I have very similar thoughts (ability to pay for food, emom changing mind, etc.). I don't know how I'm going to make it…it seems so far away, but at the same time, it is flying by because there's so much to do still. Ahhhhhhh! Hang in there!! We're almost there.

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  2. YES I'M READING THIS AND I UNDERSTAND!!! I feel like my mind is in overdrive! I am still having a hard time with the holidays with no baby, I want to sleep until we have a definite answer…and on and on. I DO know how to fold a onesie (thanks to my nanny job:), but pretty much everything else you said, I'm there! Hang in there!

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  3. First and foremost, ((hugs)) and know your questions are right on and very real! I remember our last Christmas before Aliya came home, it was sooo hard!! But Jan 9 will be here before you know it!! It does get better! Oh and to fold a onesie, just fold it in half short ways. That's the quickest way i could come up with!!!

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  4. yeah, how DO you fold a onesie properly? I'm hoping that my clean freak self makes an appearance sometime before March. It would be really nice to see her again. Instead, I'm living with my stressed-out, lazy, slobby self, making lists of all the things I should do before March. Like gathering together all of the addresses we need to send baby announcements to. Because that is so important. Looks like you're not alone in your odd-feeling obsessive-ish behavior!

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  5. Hang in there! I know it feels like forever, but you're almost there! I think if I were you, I would totally want to fast-forward the next three weeks or so.

    A friend of a friend got a call two days ago from her adoption agency after a one year wait…”We have a baby, the birth mom chose you, you have to pick him up at the hospital TOMORROW.” I can't imagine how stressful it must have been to have no time to prepare, but I couldn't help but feel a little relieved for her that she wouldn't have to experience very much of what you're experiencing now.

    But…you're almost there!!! Hugs and prayers!

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  6. YES! DH told me last night that it hit him hard that lots of people we know had babies this year and we didn't. It sucks even though we know there's a very distant light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there and try not to think of S changing her mind. It's not worth wasting energy on. Haha, this sage advice coming from a chick who will most definitely be a wreck about that potential situation. Hang in there. πŸ˜‰

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  7. you sound just like someone with that crazy combination of excitement and panic that comes from the incredible blessing of becoming a parent — Like the anticipatory chunk-chunk-chunk ride up the hill on a roller coaster.

    I would tell you not to worry, but of course, worry comes with the job. Misunderstanding comes with parenthood too — non-parents, parents with different “parenting philosophies”, and of course, your children, will all misunderstand you.

    btw, the way you fold a onesie is by wadding into a ball and stuffing it in the drawer. Seriously, if you try any fancier folding technique, they just end up wadded up in the drawer anyway.

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  8. I get it. Last Christmas we were there. We almost didn't decorate or do anything because we couldn't bear one more holiday without a child. 3 months later…we had our little girl. And I remember that last week of school, my students just…suddenly being all sweet, having to pack up my classroom secretly because my principal didn't want the students to know yet. Because a month before we had a placement, I said I was leaving, they gave me presents and a party…and the birthmom changed her mind. So this one had to be on the DL until it was for sure.
    And folding onsies? Forget it, I've given up. I just toss them all in a drawer and pull them out as needed.
    I'm so excited for you!! I so remember how things like onsies and bottles and diaper bags seemed to complicated and I had to plaaaan out how I was going to do everything.
    Now, 9 months later, onsies and bottles and diaper bags and now now jars of baby food and baby spoons and snow suits are so common. Just the other day I reflected how ordinary it's been to open the fridge and see jars of baby food, half drunk bottles, the baby's juice bottle, etc. When just 9 months ago I longed for that “novelty”.

    Hang in there. I can't wait to meet your little one. Do you have to stay in a hotel with the newborn? We were two weeks in a hotel with our newborn girl and then had a 7 hour ride home with her, let me know if you need any tips!

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  9. I felt the exact same way during the match and was a COMPLETE wreck!! I think you are behaving totally normally. I will tell you that I don't even bother folding onesies because it takes three more brain cells than my sleep deprive brain has. I just put them in a pile and call it good.

    The other side is great. You are definitely in the hardest part right now (that and the hospital). I always likened adoption to a vacation for my friends who had no clue. You are in the process of packing, the next step is going to the airport and getting on the plane but you aren't really there or excited until you actually land at your destination. Hang in there!! I'm sending good thoughts your way. I wish I had some magic advice on how to get through all of it but I don't. Sending great thoughts your way that you'll be a momma soon.

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  10. Jan. 9 will be here before you know it. The last few days FLY by…I promise. And don't think of it as another Christmas without a baby…think of it as your last Christmas as just a couple…like a baby-moon. πŸ™‚ Really focus on each other and enjoying your time together…quiet and doing whatever you want whenever you want (like going pee). LOL

    Life is CRAZY on the other side! But SO wonderful and incredible and humbling…it's amazing every day. And the questions keep coming. I went to the grocery store and had a melt down because I wasn't sure if I should latch his seat on the seat area of the buggy or set him down in the actual cart. I finally made it through grocery shopping, and then realized I couldn't put up the buggy because I couldn't leave Nolan in the truck…but I had this buggy…EVERYTHING is different. The questions don't stop coming…they just get crazier! LOL

    Can't wait to meet your little one. Just keep nesting because it's gonna be a while before you get a chance to think about home decorating again. πŸ˜‰

    Erica

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