anti-adoption · blog etiquette · privacy

Why I Went Private

Thank you to everyone who wanted to read my blog. I’m humbled that you would want to read what I write.

Here’s the basic outline of what happened:

Last Wednesday: I was attacked by a number of anonymous commenters. Many hurtful things were said. I disallowed anonymous comments, had a good cry, and thought it would be done.

Thursday: I began to receive non-anonymous comments, the majority of which were from one woman who basically questioned everything I had ever written in a very hateful and spiteful manner.

Friday: I found out a link to my blog had been posted on a very hate-filled anti-adoption blog website. I don’t so much care that strangers think I’m a “materalistic &%$^*,” but when they become incredibly judgmental and start condemning me to hell, I have serious issues with that. I don’t want anyone to find the link on that particular site and then come over here and say nasty things to me.

Saturday: The girl from earlier in the week continued to send even harsher comments to me. She, too, condemned me to hell, and posted a link on HER blog to this blog, leaving rather nasty comments (and here I will say that some of you follow this woman – and if you are here JUST to see if she is right, or because you want to fill her in, etc., etc,. I will have no hesitation in deleting your permission should you choose to use the same type of language with me).

Sunday: The aforementioned girl (true, she is 41, but you’d think from her grammar and speech patterns she’s MAYBE 16) posted on her blog a rather hate-filled post about Christians, and I reported her to Blogger for hate speech. I doubt anything will come of it, but I felt I had to try.


That is the story.

It has been a tough almost-week. Words have the power to wound deeply. I spent much of Thursday and Friday questioning myself because of the viscious things said about me by total strangers. How silly is that? It took much prayer, literally saying out loud for Satan to leave me alone, many Facebook posts from friends and the prayers of dozens of friends to feel better.

I also spent much time praying for both the proprieters of the anti-adoption webzine and the girl who is SO angry and bitter about adoption. I pray peace for all of them and that they find God to replace the anger and bitterness in their souls.

Maybe in a few months I’ll feel like I can go public again. The webzine has since attacked some of my blog friends as well as Steven Curtis Chapman. I feel like if I can be counted amongst a group that includes him, maybe I am doing something right.

Anyway…please let me know if you have questions. And thanks for being faithful readers!!

10 thoughts on “Why I Went Private

  1. Hi, Rachel.

    I have a sense for what you may be feeling. I was flamed by a similar group several years ago at a very vulnerable time.

    It was a tough way to learn that some of the phrases and sentiments expressed by adopting parents can trigger adoptees and firstparents.

    Some of these people want only to hurt back about adoption. Others, though, will take the time and patience to show you their viewpoints more gently, if you care to see adoption from other sides.

    But what you've been through makes that difficult, at least for now.

    What a good step it was to pray for her, IMHO.


  2. 😦 I really hate that you had to deal with that this week! That is so awful and I think you did the right thing by going private. Glad you allowed me to continue reading! Thinking of you today!


  3. I am so clueless – I didn't even realize there was an “anti-adoption” movement. It is crazy! I'm glad you're still around. Even though our paths toward parenthood are at different places, I am truly pulling for you and wishing you success.


  4. Geez, so sorry!! People!!!! Thank you for allowing me to follow your blog. I think it is great that you are going private because of this because there is no reason to waste your time reading what they have to say since they are so hateful. People that do things like that will not allow themselves to be educated, and will stay in that mindset no matter what is said or happens. I sure hope I am not following any of these people. I do not have the time to read every single blog.


  5. Hugs! I am glad you were able to look at things in perspective and put it behind you. Words do hurt and I am sorry you had to go through such a rough week. I follow your blog for the honest voice you present. Thank you.


  6. Well I don't blame you a bit for going private. I read a few of the comments that were left and I was appalled. I'm so sorry you had that kind of week! I hope this will be the end of the attacks and that you will be OK!!




  7. Rachel,

    As a birthmother in an open adoption I find it hard to believe that anyone would make hateful comments to someone who not only has gone through the pain of not being able to have their own children natural but knowing that the road in adoption is not always straight and that unfortunatley there are hateful people out there.

    I was in a court room a few years back speaking about my experiences and had to come face to face with a whole group of older women who had unfortunatley had a bad experience when their children where taken from the in the 50's, 60's and early 70's and many where told that their childern had died or that they had a boy when the child was actually a girl. they had me backed into a corner and it took a lot of strenghth for me to get out of there with out loosing who I was and know that I did the right thing for my son.

    I did not put my child up for adoption as a way of getting my life back on track or because it was easy. I gieve every day and I am lucky to have an open adoption and my son knows his culture and as a 17 year old he is now wanting to know about his first family history.

    He has known since he was born that he was adopted and that he has 2 familys that love him and will be there for him every second of the day.

    I have had times where I could not have contact with him as it was to hard for me but I know that he understands this.

    If the families work together to bring the child up knowing their story and that they did nothing wrong to be put up for adoption then there should not be any problems.

    Please feel free to ask me any questions you like and I will be happy to answer them for you.

    I am not sure if I am one of the people who follows the person that was hateful to you but if I am please let me know as I would like to stop following them.



  8. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with all that trash. But I'm very glad you had lots of friends close to help you feel better so quickly. Some people are just so wounded and don't realize that their view is not the whole world doesn't share their view.


  9. Yeah well they've spilled over to me; I published “Mary's” comment for the hell of it. For now, I'll let them do their thing. I just don't understand how people can go through life so bitter, angry and hateful.

    Isn't it amazing that we're TEH EVUL ONEZ for opening our hearts and homes to adoption, but they smear us with it? Astounding.

    Just keep us informed. ((hugs))


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