Seriously…these are random!!
I have the urge to nest: clean & rearrange the kitchen, sterilize the bottles & nipples & pacifiers I’ve gotten, launder all the gender-neutral clothes, spend my gift cards I got at the shower.
I also have the adoptive-mommy fears: if I do those things, the adoption will fail, so I may as well continue to sit on the couch, utilize my DVR for hours on end, and blog about my random thoughts.
I haven’t heard from the lawyer in over a week. S got a new place, and the optimistic side of me knows that she is busy settling in, getting a phone, etc etc.
The adoptive-mommy side of me fears she has changed her mind and we’ve been gyped out of some serious cash.
Of course, throughout this whole process, Thursday has been the “magic” day. All of our news seems to have come on Thursday.
That’s tomorrow…so maybe we’ll hear something tomorrow.
I’m taking Friday off because the hubby is going hunting and I’m going to have some quality alone time.
Hopefully it’s the last for a long time, because I’ll have a baby.
Baby is due January 9. I’ve had two “helpful” friends tell me in the past week that their babies were due on January 9 and were born on December 19 and December 21. Holy crap. That’s like 6 weeks from now.
Am I ready to be a mommy? In six weeks?
How come no one wants to buy us the bedding we picked out? Cause it’s so expensive, right? I feel like we are hemorrhaging cash…
But we actually have a fundraiser planned for November 23.
What if no one shows up.
I read an article today about 42 things that change after you have a baby. A sad number of them dealt with how I’ll have more respect for my body, I’ll love my body more, I’ll be amazed at my body, blah blah blah. What???? Why can’t they focus on life changes instead of physical ones? I’m pretty sure once a month I’ll still hate my body. Right now, surrounded (literally) by glowing pregnant friends & family, I feel nothing but betrayed by my body. It won’t grow life…it hurts me once a month…it makes me sad…it craves pregnancy comfort food and has gained 20 pounds since April…it stubbornly refuses to lose said 20 pounds…
Really? Having a baby will change all that?
And what’s with the recent rash (3 mentions in 3 days by 3 different people) insinuating I should adoptive breastfeed? I’m all for it…except the medical therapy could possibly induce a stroke in me. I’m already sad enough I can’t breastfeed…why all of the sudden is this a topic of (apparently acceptable) conversation by people in my life? Truly, I want to tell them it’s A) none of their business, B) highly personal and C) NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS!
I am thankful today to a friend who told me when she was bio pregnant with her child, she lived in utter fear that something would go wrong. She didn’t put her nursery together until 2 weeks before her daughter was due. She said fear is normal.
Finally….something I’m feeling is normal.
Of course, I only tell certain people I’m petrified. Like y’all 🙂
My friends at school want to throw me a shower. Since Saturday’s went well and all, and because if I do bring Baby home in the next 10 weeks I’m pretty sure I won’t want dozens of germy people handling him (or hundreds of germy students wanting to take a peek) I’ve given them the okay to have it before Christmas.
They opted for before Thanksgiving, since another girl at school is pregnant with twins and we need to have a shower for her, too, and there’s really only 2 dates available. I’m on a field trip the day of her shower (although I’m excited to get her a present!).
I held a baby yesterday who is three weeks old. He was so tiny. Will I really be responsible for someone so absolutely tiny and helpless?
Will my maternal instincts kick in? How will I know what Baby wants and if I’m doing it right?
I meet with a pediatrician tomorrow…at least I feel like a responsible mommy-to-be!!
Definitely random, yes? But I’m feeling much more positive than last week 🙂