adoption journey · adoption myths · Baby · blog friends · infertility · real life friends · school

Seriously?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Okay…so here was today.

Rainy. Like 3″ of rain. Plus it was chilly. The kiddos were on “fall break” while we had “professional development.” Seriously? Why can’t the teachers have a few days off?

A friend of mine told me today she is pregnant. Yah! With twins. Seriously? She’s getting ready to pop out #4 & #5 and I can’t have ONE??? She just looks at her husband sideways and gets knocked up. Me? I practically stood on my head one cycle while my husband cheered on his little guys with promises of beer if they found an egg. Seriously! Only my infertile sisters can understand the humor of your husband yelling at your womb, “Swim, Boys! There’s cold beer and a hot chick waiting for you!”

That same friend then said she just knows I’ll get pregnant after we adopt. “Everyone I know that has adopted got pregnant.” Seriously? And how many people do you know that have adopted?

Another friend (whose daughter just placed a child for adoption!!!!) said the same thing. Seriously? I said, “Do you realize that is an incredibly offensive thing to say to me? I am not going to get pregnant. Only 15% of couples who adopt get pregnant!” Yet they continued to tell me – insist, almost – that I will be pregnant soon after January. Seriously? I really wanted to ask the grandmother of the baby placed for adoption, “Did her parents get pregnant?” Seriously.

I got my “your baby is as big as (fill in a veggie or fruit) because you’re this many weeks pregnant” email yesterday. We have 14 weeks before Baby joins us. Seriously! Only 14 weeks. AND, it could be less than that, couldn’t it?!? We are SO not ready for this – seriously!!!!

Yesterday I referred to all of you, my faithful readers, as “all of my friends who have adopted.” I realize not all of us have actually been matched yet, or brought home a child yet, but I said something about going home and crawling back into bed. (I had a slight fever on Wednesday, and I’ve had a sore throat/coughing/sneezing achiness since then). My friends with children laughed and said, “You can’t do that for long.” Seriously? Like I’m totally unaware that my life is about to drastically change. ANYWAY…I responded, “All of my friends who have adopted have encouraged me to take advantage of not having a baby for as long as I can.” (Thanks, Wendy, for the letter to yourself a year ago!!).

But seriously…why is it that many many MANY of my women friends who are parents only want to tell me how horrible it will be to have a baby? I mean, it’s not all women, thank God. I have a few friends (especially the older moms) who talk about how I’ll be a great mom and how much I will enjoy it. But many of them just sort of look at me and laugh evilly and talk about the horrible ways my life is about to be ruined. Seriously? Can’t you just be excited for me? I’ve wanted a child for over FIVE years…let me enjoy this and then let me ENJOY all that comes with it!!

And is it wrong that I want to point out that I don’t have to get fat, be naseous OR get stretch marks? Seriously. There are definite benefits to adopting!!

Seriously…that was my day. How was yours?

6 thoughts on “Seriously?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

  1. Why is it that all those comparisons of baby size are foods?

    Tell you what, I don't know any adopted Moms that got pregnant. I do know 1 that 3 weeks after coming home with her son from Russa got placed for another, a daughter from Guatamala, and they have 2 in the same grade at school! And I only know adopted Moms who are ecstatic, not exhausted. Get well soon.

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  2. I loved that post! I have had so many “seriously” days over the last 8 years your post made me laugh out loud! We were blessed with our second adoption last year and if I had $1.00 for every time someone said: “Oh watch, you'll get pregnant now” or “how much did it cost”, I would be a VERY rich woman 🙂
    Enjoy every minute…soak it all in…life is about to get better than you ever thought possible.
    Dori

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  3. Oh the “now, you'll get pregnant” comment immediately following our news is annoying to say the very least. It really is offensive. What happened to “Congratulations!” or “That's great news!”. They might as well say, “Well, sorry, but the good news is my cousin's girlfriend's brother's sister-in-law and her husband adopted and they got pregnant” Why can't some people understand that adoption is NOT an infertility treatment? Hey, I think that will be my new response….adoption is not an infertility treatment. I'm sorry that you had one of those days…

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  4. Messed up! I will never understand how some women can complain as much as they do. Sure, we all have our days when it's more work than fun…but clearly these are the people who didn't have to work quite as hard to build their families.

    Melba

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  5. I think you have to go through infertility, and, even more, adoption, to have a really good appreciation for your children when they are exhausting you. On my blog, I write about the reality of motherhood because I do want other moms to be more prepared than I was. Even though I am very honest about how hard it is, I wouldn't go back to the childless days of waiting for anything. Although it's easier to say that now than it would have been during this last year. You seem to have a great attitude, though, in that you seem to enjoy life where you are, and that will no doubt continue into parenthood.

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