So I emailed the paralegal at the attorney’s office yesterday. We are using an attorney to match us with a birthmother, and the paralegal, of course, does almost all of the work. I asked M (the paralegal) where we are in the process: are we on the list, what number are we, how long does she think a match will take, etc. etc.?
Well M emailed me back this morning and said we are definitely on the list. YES! There are four or five families open to transracial adoption on the list, including us. YES! And just today she was sending our profile to two birthmothers. YES! Right? You’d think so, but I’ve had a bundle of nervous butterflies in my tummy ALL DAY.
Someone is maybe considering us. Right. Now. To be the parents. Of their child.
I mean, I knew this would happen, theoretically, anyway. I knew our profile would be sent out and women (and possibly the men in their lives) would look at us and decide if they wanted us. But in reality, this is so much more than I thought it would be.
I feel like real estate. People look at those pages you can get in front of houses that are for sale before deciding to actually schedule an appointment or attend an open house. So, I guess we are open for viewing. It’s just very surreal.
Plus, I have a ton of well-meaning friends and family asking, “Any news yet?” practically every time I turn around. Well, yes, because people are looking at us. But also, well, no, because we haven’t been matched yet.
Oh, and M said it could be a 6-9 month wait or it could happen much sooner. Which do I pray for? I’m ready (I think, anyway, at least on good days) so sooner would be great. But then I’m not ready, either.
Wow – Erica (http://ourbabywish.blogspot.com/) is so right – it’s a roller coaster. Get on and try not to vomit. That’s where I am today…and we haven’t even been matched…
PLUS…if I never hear, will I be mad that those women didn’t choose us? I’ve never been very popular…what if that carries over? I know I’ve expressed this before, but what if we don’t get chosen?
Definitely trying not to vomit…