adoption journey · feelings · nesting

Melancholy

I’ve been paper pregnant for 14 days…

I realize, that in the world of adoption journeys, that’s nothing. No time at all.

But my husband, who drug his feet through the whole “pre” process is now convinced every time the phone rings it’s THE CALL. His enthusiasm…makes me apathetic. I know it’s going to happen, but I’m so scared to get my hopes up that I’m still sort of living in my two year deadline. See, when we started this process in March, the lawyer said it can take 12-18 months, if we wanted only a healthy caucasian baby. And even though we are adopting trans-racially, and the lawyer said that process takes 12 months max, I gave us a two-year deadline. March 2011…we should be parents by then. So, I’m feeling…

Ho hum.

On the bright side, I bought a cute dresser and armoire from Craigslist. The combined cost of both is less than HALF of one piece of furniture at the big baby stores. Yea for thrifty shopping!!!We picked them up today and they are residing in the garage while we decide how to refinish them. The dresser is a gorgeous green, but very girlie and the armoire is a little, um, babyish. Silly, right, since it’s for our baby? But we have a theme picked out and it’s not quite as cartoonish as the armoire. But both are solid pieces of furniture made of read wood, and the armoire is even cedar lined!

My stepmom offered to strip, refinish and stain both. My mom said I should let her. I sort of want to do it, because they’re for my baby – the one I’ve waited almost six years for.

My brother and sister-in-law, who are expecting #2 in January, however, are planning on buying all new things for their new daughter. I feel sort of bad that I’ve bought second hand. I want our baby to have the best.

When I told my husband that, he said, “Honey, our baby will have the best of us.” He always has the perfect thing to say šŸ™‚

Oh, and Dad & Step-Mom…they bought our car seat and second base today. So at least if we do get THE CALL we can bring baby home!

Melancholy…second guessings…all part of the journey, right? Right.

2 thoughts on “Melancholy

  1. yes, your in-laws may have newer stuff, but they won't get to experience the joys of being ecologically responsible (like you) or have that money that they spent on furniture for other fun things (like you will) or have the great story about how much of their own work and love they put into the furniture, fixing it up JUST the way they wanted it for their child (like you will. well, maybe.). I get why you want to do your own furniture and not let your MIL do it for you. Can you work together on it? I'm sure that she's just looking for SOME way to show you support and to show you how excited she is for this new child, but if you're anything like me, these sorts of projects help the time to go by faster and help you to feel like you're being PRODUCTIVE and MOVING THINGS FORWARD. am I right? Does she have any nesting-type skills or interests that you don't have yourself? For instance– my MIL has started a cross-stitch sampler thingy to hang in the baby's room. I'm all about quilting and even needlepoint, but I could take or leave cross-stitch, so I'm happy to have her contribute that to my baby's room. Maybe your MIL is good at… painting murals on the walls? Sewing quilts? Underwater basketweaving?

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  2. Yes, all part of the journey…definitely! And I can totally relate to your feelings about buying things second hand. I had a grand idea in my head that our baby should have ALL NEW everything…even though I've been a nanny in our home for years, and consequently have many toys, etc. Let me just say…I am TOTALLY over that problem. He did get new furniture, but because my parents generously gave it to us as a gift. Now that he's here…somehow what your husband said is completely true. He gets the best of us and we get the best of him, the stuff doesn't matter one bit in comparison to that. šŸ™‚

    Hang in there…your time will come, and when it does, everything will suddenly be worthwhile!

    Melba

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